Adults With ADHD - Do You Need an Attitude Adjustment?

I hate to say it, but a lot of adults with AD/HD have an attitude problem. Many of us are negative thinkers with low self-esteem.

It's understandable; life with AD/HD can have us feeling bad for being so "different" from everyone else. And we feel worse when we try to improve our lives using the wrong systems.

Mainstream advice doesn't account for the unique wiring of AD/HD brains, and when this advice fails, we feel like we've failed. It chips away at our self-esteem.

As a result, many people with AD/HD grow up to be BMWs-people who constantly B*tch, Moan, and Whine! This is one of the reasons that adults with AD/HD often have trouble making new friends and maintaining relationships. It's also why so many of us struggle to get along with our family members, coworkers, and neighbors.

No one likes to hang out with a BMW. Their constant brooding, complaining, and finding fault can quickly bring a happy person down or zap that person's energy. Simply put, BMWs are a drag!

If you are a BMW, then don't fret. With a little work, you can adjust your attitude and improve your social skills. Here are three practical things you can do right away to overcome being a BMW.

1. Accept compliments with grace and gratitude-even if you don't agree with them.

If you're a BMW, then chances are that your self-esteem can use a pick-me-up. Accepting the compliments that are paid to you will go a long way in helping you feel better about yourself.

You'll find that most people genuinely mean what they say. If your friend says she likes your haircut, believe it! If you argue with her compliment by disagreeing and saying something like "This is the worst haircut I've ever had!", then you're essentially telling your friend that her opinion is wrong.

2. Avoid putting yourself down in front of others.

People often view self-deprecation as "fishing for compliments" and feel a responsibility to lift you up and make you feel better. After a while, this becomes annoying, and you can easily lose friends who might view you as high maintenance.

There's a big difference between expressing your challenges, and putting yourself down for them. It's perfectly okay to say "I would have liked to have the house cleaned up by the time you got here, but unfortunately I didn't have enough time." In contrast, a BMW might say something like "I'm such a slob! My house is always a mess and no matter what I do I can never get it together!"

3. Surround yourself with positive, happy people.

One of the easiest ways to adjust your attitude is to surround yourself with people worth emulating. When you choose to spend time with other BMWs, you're choosing to be a BMW.

Make a concerted effort to ditch the BMW within, and then invite a pleasant coworker to join you for coffee, take a walk with a friendly neighbor, or reconnect with a supportive friend. You'll absorb the positive energy of these good influences. And positive, happy people will be much more understanding when you do find yourself running late for lunch or forgetting a birthday!

When you adjust your attitude by increasing your self-esteem and adopting a more positive perspective, you'll find that you have an easier time creating and maintaining social connections. People will enjoy spending time with the real you, and you'll feel better about yourself, too!

Instant Happiness and Addictions

Addiction does not have any boundaries. It can be in several forms. If a person eats too many hot dogs in a day, he or she will also be labeled as addicted to it. What is weird is when people associate addiction only with drugs, alcohol, tobacco, porn or sex. It's much to do with the fact that we only find those things harmful which are taught to us by the society. We never focus on the other things which make us weak and vulnerable from inside. Strangely is not?

What is the connection between instant happiness and addiction?

Anything which helps us move through the difficult times can be considered as instant happiness. For an example -: if a person who just had a breakup, would certainly be looking for ways and means to divert his mind from it. And the process of doing something to get a move on to achieve the temporary happy state can lead to wrong choices resulting in addiction. It all depends on an individual to what choices he or she needs to make keeping in mind the consequences attached to it.

There can be so many examples of it. We always have had people around us who shop more or probably eats more in depression. Is not also a kind of addiction? Did we ever think why they do it? It's because we do not notice these things as long as we see them putting an effort to get through.For some reason, it is the effort that catches our attention not the path attached to it.

Food addiction is a very common example these days because it gives you a good and satisfying feeling by consuming certain food but having a constant urge to eat it when you are not even hungry brings a lot of serious consequences to it, it could be physical, social or even emotional. The result of over indulging in that particular food which brings you joy could be digestion problems, low self - esteem, depression etc.

Let's talk about relationships. We all have seen and experienced the immunity pleasure of being in love. But relationships can not be taken for granted, we never know when it will get over and when it does, what we can do to get over it. I would like to mention about this friend of mine who would do anything to be in a relationship.Whenever he goes through a breakup, he would look for another person to fall in love with. This completely shows that he can not remain single for a long time. Maybe by being in a relationship, he gets his happiness. But how many times a person can fall in love, it sure looks like he is addicted to relationships. But does he know that?

We are certainly aware of the fact that not all the choices leading to the instant happiness result in the addictions but most of the times we tend to lod in wrong choices. Is not worth pondering about?

The question here is can we see us becoming addicted to something behind the curtains of instant happiness? It's the pain that we suffer makes us go to any depths to recover from it and thus leading to the dangerous path of unknown addictions.

Most of the times it is very difficult to foresee the consequences of efforts we put in to go for the instant happiness which we seek and desire. I am sure the circumances play a pivotal role in the choices we make but at the end of the day, we must accept that we are strong enough to control the circumstance.

The only thing that can be done is to be more observant about the choices we make to move through the difficult times. One should never think of finding the short cuts for it, rather we should all embarrass the difficult times as a challenge for better future without having to face any unexpected and oblivion ramifications of our need for instant happiness. It is difficult but absolutely a secure way of permanent happiness.